How to Help Your Children during and After disunion

Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence - How to Help Your Children during and After disunion

Good morning. Yesterday, I discovered Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence - How to Help Your Children during and After disunion. Which may be very helpful for me and you. How to Help Your Children during and After disunion

When parents become complex in divorce proceedings, the emotional impact on their children is commonly brutal and long lasting. Parents can reduce the emotional impact on their children, by utilizing the following tips:

What I said. It just isn't the actual final outcome that the actual about Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence. You look at this article for home elevators an individual want to know is Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence.

Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence

1. Attempt reconciliation.

2. If reconciliation is possible, do not hesitate to place the divorce proceedings on hold.

3. If reconciliation is possible, do not let your parents, other house members, or friends, keep you from attempting the same.

4. If reconciliation is not possible, do your best not to delay the divorce proceedings.

5. If reconciliation is not possible, quit having sex with each other, because such performance will only taint any resolution of the discrete issues when the sex stops.

6. Be honest with yourself, your spouse/ex-spouse, and your children.

7. If you are feeling down/depressed, take an account of the good things in your life; place your children first on the list.

8. Suicide is not an option. If you have thoughts of suicide, seek help immediately.

9. If your spouse/ex-spouse is abusing you and/or your children, seek help immediately.

10. Stop trying to figure out why your marriage did not work; after a determined point in time, it becomes counter-productive.

11. If you are experiencing a financial crunch during or after the divorce, do not dwell on it in front of your children; try to fetch a higher paying job, or a second job if necessary.

12. Utilize house counseling and individual counseling for your children and yourself.

13. If you and your spouse/ex-spouse cannot agree on a counselor for your children, you should each agree a counselor, and then let such counselors agree an independent counselor. The independent counselor should then decide on how the counseling sessions should take place; with parents, without parents, etc.

14. Do not make your divorce a collective event; save the "dirt" for discussions with your counselor.

15. Put aside your pain and anger, and focus on the best interests of your children.

16. Make your children feel safe and loved at all times.

17. It is best if both parents, as a couple, acquaint their children of their decision to fetch a divorce, and that neither parent is at fault.

18. Listen to, and address your children's concerns and feelings; let your children vent. Allow your children to ask questions; in answering your children's questions, do not compromise your spouse/ex-spouse's character, integrity, and reputation.

19. If your children are not curious or ready to talk about the divorce, be patient and wait until they are ready.

20. Explain to your children, as often as necessary, that they are not the cause of the divorce.

21. If your children side with your spouse/ex-spouse, do not hold it against them; try to put yourself in your children's shoes; try to understand your children's concerns/feelings.

22. Do not be reluctant to apologize to your children; apologize as often as necessary.

23. Both parents should acquaint the children's counselors at school of their decision to divorce.

24. Be alert to signs of distress in your children (aggressiveness, depression, mood swings, loss of self-esteem, poor execution at school, etc.), and immediately attend to such distress and/or seek expert help.

25. Provide your children with emotional support, and do not expect them to replace the emotional hold you previously received from your spouse/ex-spouse.

26. Play an active role in your children's school and other activities during and after the divorce proceedings.

27. If one of the parties is keeping the marital home in the property settlement, do your best to keep your children's bedroom sets, and as much of the other furniture, in such home; there is enough other things for your children to adjust to; like both of their parents not being under the same roof.

28. Allow your children to make some decisions with your new home so they feel a part of it; for example, where to place furniture and pictures.

29. Do not look at child hold as an obligation, but as something that you want to pay for the advantage of your children.

30. Child hold is for your children, do not agree to take a lesser number to appease your spouse/ex-spouse, or as a effect of pride.

31. Do not send your children to your spouse/ex-spouse's home in tattered clothes, or their pajamas, to force your spouse/ex-spouse to purchase supplementary clothing.

32. Do not have your spouse/ex-spouse served with court papers when you know your children will be present.

33. Be patient. If you have children and you and your spouse have settled all issues, it will take at least 5 months after the Complaint has been filed to fetch a divorce. If you and your spouse are having difficulty settling all issues, it could legitimately take 8 months to 18 months to fetch a divorce.

34. Stay focused on the big issues: custody, parenting time, child support, property settlement, and spousal support. Do not incur needless legal fees to argue, or fight over insignificant issues.

35. Control your attorney.

36. Do not have your attorney file motions to seek psychological evaluations of your spouse and children to plainly gain leverage in the divorce proceedings.

37. Do not file for a personal safety order to gain leverage in the divorce proceedings.

38. Do not antagonize your spouse to commit an act of domestic violence to gain leverage in the divorce proceedings.

39. Call the police only when necessary.

40. Call Children's Protective Services only when necessary.

41. Do not make false allegations concerning emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse of your children; false allegations can never be taken back.

42. Do not withhold, or effort to withhold, parenting time as a means to gain leverage in the divorce proceedings, or to hurt your spouse/ex-spouse during or after the divorce.

43. If your spouse is no longer residing at the marital home during the divorce proceedings, but is paying for the marital home expenses, do not intentionally "run-up" the bills (by running the sprinkler system and by heating the pool around the clock) to increase the expenses that your spouse will have to pay; this plainly reduces the number of money that can be spent on your children and other critical expenses.

44. If a representative of the Friend of the Court will be interviewing your children with respect to their preference to reside with you or your spouse, do not effort to prep or sway your children before the interview.

45. Do not have your children write letters to the Court, or the Friend of the Court, on your behalf.

46. Do not bring your children to the divorce proceedings unless requested by the Court.

47. Do not bring parents and/or other house members to the divorce proceedings.

48. Try to decide your differences short of a trial, in the middle of yourselves with the assistance of your attorneys, or through the use of an arbitrator, facilitator, or mediator; a trial deepens/hardens anger and resentment.

49. Honor the agreements you reach with your spouse/ex-spouse concerning divorce issues and/or children issues; placing such agreements in the Judgment of divorce will avoid confusion.

50. The Judgment of divorce should include a detailed parenting time agenda instead of leaving it open; you and your ex-spouse can all the time deviate from the agenda if you are communicating; it avoids the necessity of having to return to Court if you and your ex-spouse stop communicating.

51. Pay your child support.

52. Pay your child care expenses.

53. Pay your children's healing reimbursements to your spouse/ex-spouse.

54. Each parent should have as much parenting time as possible. Although it may be difficult on everyone, the parents should work toward a 50/50 split with respect to parenting time. The above may not be possible, if each parent lives in a separate school district after the divorce, if the children have been abused by a parent, etc.

55. Discuss parenting time with your children only when both parents are present.

56. Spend as much time with your children as possible; never refuse extra parenting time.

57. Parenting time should be exercised on a consistent basis, without long gaps in the middle of visits with your children. Show up, and do not be late, for all scheduled parenting time.

58. If you cannot see your children on a consistent basis, you should telephone, write, e-mail, text message, send cards, etc., on a consistent basis.

59. Do not agree to a parenting time agenda that separates your children.

60. Do not agree to a parenting time agenda that is initiated by your children. Under this arrangement, the parent that does not have corporal custody of the children will only have parenting time when the children open the same. This arrangement gives the custodial parent the opportunity to convince the children to be indifferent or hostile toward the non-custodial parent. This arrangement also gives the children too much control/power over the non-custodial parent. The above may not be applicable if the children have been abused by the non-custodial parent.

61. A shorter distance in the middle of your home and your spouse/ex-spouse's home will allow for more flexibility with respect to parenting time; will make it easier for the parents to fill-in for each other; will make it easier for the non-custodial parent to attend the children's school and other functions; etc.

62. Avoid treating your children like a guest in your home; include them in house activities such as production dinner, doing the dishes, cutting the lawn, etc.

63. Avoid structuring every moment of parenting time around an performance or event; a majority of parenting time should involve daily life.

64. To the extent you can afford it, have clothes and toiletries for your children at both of your homes.

65. If your children need something during or after the divorce proceedings when you are attractive in parenting time, fetch it for them if possible, and work out the economics with your spouse/ex-spouse at a later time.

66. Be flexible with your spouse/ex-spouse as far as parenting time; fill-in for each other when necessary.

67. Do not argue in front of your children.

68. Do not discuss your bedroom issues in front of your children.

69. Do not effort to convince your children that your spouse/ex-spouse was the cause of the divorce; they will make their own assessment, if they feel the need to do so, as they grow older.

70. Do not effort to affect your children to be indifferent or hostile toward your spouse/ex-spouse; this is one of the worst forms of child abuse.

71. Never make comments to your children that compare them to your spouse/ex-spouse in a negative way.

72. Never, for any reason, resort to corporal violence with your spouse/ex-spouse, or children.

73. Do not abandon your children no matter what hurdles are settled in front of you by your spouse/ex-spouse.

74. Do not talk about custody with your children.

75. Do not talk about child hold with your children.

76. Do not talk about the division of property with your children.

77. Do not talk about spousal hold with your children.

78. If you are entitled to spousal support, do not turn it down out of pride, accept it, save it, and use it to help your children with college and other expenses.

79. Do not discuss the Court proceedings and rulings with your children.

80. Do not leave any paperwork concerning the divorce in any place at your home where your children will be able to find and read it.

81. If the marital home is being sold as part of the property settlement, do not have your children present when such home is being shown to possible buyers.

82. Do not have your children present when you are attractive furniture and other belongings out of the marital home.

83. Do not damage your spouse/ex-spouse's property; it sets the wrong example for your children because they will ultimately find out about it.

84. Do not ask your children what your spouse/ex-spouse is doing.

85. Do not ask your children what your spouse/ex-spouse is spending money on.

86. Do not use your children to transmit bills or messages to your spouse/ex-spouse.

87. Do not have your children lie for you.

88. Do not fight for extra parenting time plainly to reduce child support.

89. Do not threaten your spouse/ex-spouse that you will stop finding your children if you have to pay child hold and child care expenses.

90. Do not over-dramatize your children's deficiencies or illnesses, in an effort to increase spousal support, because you would rather stay at home instead of also contributing economically to your children.

91. Do not think that you are punishing your spouse/ex-spouse by not exercising parenting time with your children; you are only punishing your children.

92. Do not hold parenting time because child hold is late.

93. Do not pass on a great career opportunity to avoid paying higher child support.

94. Do not convey to your children that you are unable to purchase an item because your spouse/ex-spouse is not paying child hold or other expenses, or because you are paying child hold and other expenses.

95. Do not give gifts to your children with restrictions. For example, if you buy your child a bike, do not force your child to keep it at your home if he/she wants to bring it to your spouse/ex-spouse's home.

96. Do not let your differences keep you and your spouse/ex-spouse from both attending special events in your children's lives; graduations, weddings, etc.

97. Do not tell your children that they are a "mistake" ("Dad did not want you" or "Mom did not want you").

98. Do not talk badly about your spouse/ex-spouse in front of your children.

99. Do not talk badly about your spouse/ex-spouse to family, friends, or third parties.

100. Do not allow your family, friends, or third parties to talk badly about your spouse/ex-spouse in front of your children.

101. Do not allow your family, friends, or third parties to control the decisions you make with your spouse/ex-spouse concerning your children.

102. Do not allow your house or friends to move into the marital home during the divorce proceedings; it plainly adds to the turmoil in most cases.

103. Do not shower your children with gifts to win them over; during the divorce proceedings, all gifts should be from both mom and dad.

104. Do not fake an illness, or dramatize a health issue, to fetch your children's attention and/or sympathy.

105. Do not allow your children to play you and your ex-spouse against each other.

106. Start new traditions with your children.

107. Allow your children to express their love for your spouse/ex-spouse in your presence, and allow your children to have pictures of your spouse/ex-spouse in their rooms.

108. As your children become older, comprehend that parenting time and responsibilities may have to be altered to meet the changing needs and schedules of your children.

109. Do not make your children feel uncomfortable when you are exercising your parenting time and they want to contact (via phone calls, e-mails, or text messages) your spouse/ex-spouse. Do not check the old call listing on your children's mobile phones to see how many times they contact your spouse/ex-spouse when you are exercising your parenting time.

110. Do not make your children feel uncomfortable, when they are leaving your home so your spouse/ex-spouse can rehearsal parenting time.

111. Be civil to your spouse/ex-spouse when he/she is picking up your children to rehearsal his/her parenting time; do not make your spouse/ex-spouse pick your children up at the curb, at other house member's homes, the police station, or other establishments, because you cannot be civil with one another.

112. Do not interrupt your children's time with your spouse/ex-spouse by excessively contacting them when they are with your spouse/ex-spouse.

113. Figure out a way to be friends with your ex-spouse; try to forgive and forget; you will be parents for life.

114. Try to produce a degree of trust with your spouse/ex-spouse when it comes to issues surrounding your children.

115. Establish a game plan with your spouse/ex-spouse to solve issues surrounding your children; at a minimum, meet alone on a quarterly basis; limit the time of the discussion; stick to the issues; do not bring up the past; try to compromise and come to a resolution, etc.

116. Never stop communicating with your spouse/ex-spouse about your children's educational, medical, religious, and daily issues.

117. If you and your ex-spouse cannot reach an agreement on issues concerning your children after the divorce, reconsider a counselor, mediator, or parenting-time coordinator who will decide issues after each parent presents their respective views; a counselor, mediator, or parenting-time coordinator will be quicker and cheaper than using the Courts.

118. If you use a parenting-time coordinator, make sure that the parenting-time coordinator is qualified; make sure he/she has children of his/her own.

119. If you cannot describe directly with your spouse/ex-spouse concerning divorce issues and/or your children, use e-mails and text messages to communicate.

120. Attempt to coordinate your children's routines (activities, homework, curfew, bedtime, etc.) with your spouse/ex-spouse while they are with each parent.

121. Have your children's record cards sent to you and your spouse/ex-spouse.

122. You and your spouse/ex-spouse should replacement copies of any schedules concerning your children's school activities, dates of parent/teacher conferences, etc.

123. You and your spouse/ex-spouse should encourage your children to effect the household rules where they are residing.

124. If your children are sick or injured during your parenting time, contact your spouse/ex-spouse as soon as possible.

125. Be supportive of the other parent's role; do not criticize his/her career, the location of his/her home, size of his/her home, etc.

126. Encourage your children to have a good association and to spend time with your spouse/ex-spouse; even after your children become adults.

127. If your children are upset with you spouse/ex-spouse, do your best to calm them down.

128. If your children have a complaint about your spouse/ex-spouse, encourage them to bring it to the attention of your spouse/ex-spouse.

129. Assist your children in buying cards and gifts for your spouse/ex-spouse.

130. Do not knowingly agenda your children's special events on days that your spouse/ex-spouse will be out of town so as to keep your spouse/ex-spouse from attending.

131. Coordinate with your spouse/ex-spouse with respect to gift giving for your children's special events.

132. Do not agenda extracurricular activities for your children if they interfere with your spouse/ex-spouse's parenting time unless you fetch their prior consent.

133. If your spouse/ex-spouse has each year events that they attend with your children, do your best to plan/alter your parenting time so as to not interfere with such events.

134. Support and promote your children's relationships with your spouse/ex-spouse's parents (grandparents), brothers (uncles) sisters (aunts), nieces and nephews.

135. Allow your spouse/ex-spouse or their house members to help in watching your children while you are at work to reduce child care expenses.

136. If a relative asks your child to help with a project, make sure the relative speaks with your spouse/ex-spouse, if assisting with such project impacts your spouse/ex-spouse's parenting time, or if you think your spouse/ex-spouse might not approve of your child assisting with such project.

137. On occasion, have breakfast, lunch, or dinner with your spouse/ex-spouse and children; give your children a sense of family, even if it is for a short duration of time.

138. Move on with your personal life; do not live in the past.

139. Continue to be an adult and parent after the divorce; there is no need to act like a teenager.

140. Let your children know when you are dating, and do not forget about your children when you are dating.

141. Take your time (approximately 1 year) before you introduce a new girlfriend/boyfriend to your children; make sure that the association is a serious one before introducing your children to the new girlfriend/boyfriend.

142. When you introduce a new girlfriend/boyfriend to your children, acquaint your spouse/ex-spouse first so your children do not feel caught in the middle; so they do not feel they are hiding something from your spouse/ex-spouse.

143. When you introduce a new girlfriend/boyfriend to your children, keep it from being a big production.

144. If your new girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse has children, do not place such children ahead of your own children; emotionally or otherwise.

145. Make sure that your children are not the last ones to know that you are planning to remarry.

146. Before you remarry, clearly discuss your future spouse's expectations and role with your children; do not allow your future spouse to replace, or effort to replace, an active and supportive biological parent.

147. Before you remarry, safe your children's inheritance via a will, trust, pre-nuptial agreement, etc.

148. After you remarry, start new traditions; but do not discard the old traditions, and continue to hold some time to be alone with your children.

149. Only the biological parent should punish the children. The step-parent should not effort to enforce his or her will, but should conduct him or herself in the same manner as an aunt or uncle.

150. Do not allow your new spouse to take the lead (or be put in the middle) when dealing with your ex-spouse concerning issues that deal with your children.

151. Support your children's relationships with your ex-spouse's new spouse and step-children.

152. Cooperate, compromise, and respect each other.

153. Remember, your children are all the time watching and listening; set a good example for them.

The author welcomes readers to transmit this record to parents complex in divorce proceedings; he also welcomes readers to transmit supplementary tips to his attention so this record can be supplemented based on the experiences of others.

I hope you get new knowledge about Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence. Where you'll be able to put to use in your day-to-day life. And most significantly, your reaction is passed about Bexar County District Attorney Family Violence.